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A comic book that I used to produce years ago, I still have some copies left over to sell :)

If you find that funny then you may find the rest of it funny!

A short history of Captain Koala (March, 2008)

'Captain Koala' was a cartoon character I came up with in 1993, since then I have put out 9 issues of the comic and there is another 15 scripts that are ready to be pencilled.
I won't be getting those pencilled unless someone comes up to me and asks to do it because they need the experience (it happens every 2 years, that's why the artwork is different for each issue).

The comic started because I wanted to get into the industry, I always wanted to be a writer and I thought I could do comedy.
So I wrote 5 scripts, the trouble started when nobody would edit them but my mother told me to follow my dreams and get them printed. They stank :(
I got a lot of negative press in the Australian comic industry which stalled the comic at issue 5 - one of the longest runs ever by an Australian comic!! I stopped the comic because of the feedback but then something really weird happened - when I announced that there would be no more a lot of people came out of the woodwork and said it was the funniest comic this country had ever produced!!

So now what? I was only making enough money to cover my costs so it was only a hobby, but when you get asked by several people to make another issue - it's fairly flattering.

So a year later I put another issue out - and because my writing had improved I felt it was a lot better. My fans loved it, the press hated it but now it upset me, there opinion had never upset me before, so why now? ... because they admitted they hadn't read it ....

The comic stalled again but my fans called out for more.
So 2 years later (1998) issue 7 came out - and my writing had improved again - and the critics still didn't read it.
One reviewer wrote "... this comic is up to issue 7, if you can believe that ... ". Why not? Guess what pal, comics don't' last 7 issues if they are as bad as you make out. On a forum board I challenged this reviewer to name the main bad persons race (it was something you wouldn't forget if you read it) - he had no idea as he admitted that he had not read it.

2 years later (2000) issue 8 came out, and I never read the reviews. Heck, if they won't read my comic why should I read their reviews?

After that issue life got in the way, I do a lot of other things now and don't have the time to do another issue- but as I said before, there is another 15 issues scripted (my writing has really improved so they are very funny).
If someone wants to draw them then they are welcome, but for the mean time I'll stick with other things.

Why I can't give jobs to everyone that asks for one. (1995)

I think I had better get one thing perfectly clear to everyone – The Australian market is lousy when it comes to supporting locally produced comics.

What irritates my is when these same people ask me for a job, the same people that assume that anything that is Australian made is awful. Heck, i've even caught reviewers out that haven't read it.

I remember the first time someone rang me up and asked for a job; I was flattered, someone wants to work for me?
I was really, really pissed off when I found out that they hadn't even read the comic; his mother worked in the printers and took one home for him to read. He said he hadn't read it because it was black and white - well if you don't want to read it why would you want to work with it?

I have had more job applications than fan mail at the moment. I do this as a hobby because my sales only just cover my expenses, so how am I supposed to employ people? If I was helped to increase my sales then I would be more than happy to compensate you for your time. If anyone could come up with a few sale ideas then please tell me, I would be more than happy to reward a good idea or someone that helps me.

If anyone wants an art ‘job’ (pencilling, inking or lettering) then yes, you can write to me with your samples. But do not, under any circumstances, expect to get paid for it.
Everyone who has drawn for me does it for one reason and one reason only - to get a profesional job. Some of them have been succesful too.

As for fan mail? Please send it in, I love hearing people’s comments. Good or bad.

Why Captain Koala sucked. (2001)

The industry has always had a hard time and people have blamed everything for it, but maybe it’s time to look at ourselves and see if we are in fact the problem.  I decided to take a good long hard look at my own comic book and decide what was wrong with it, I wont’ be looking at any other comics because a lot of people have a problem with criticism.

Captain Koala was written in 1992 and was told by a few close friends & family that it was ‘okay for what it is’.  Let’s play a game - spot the four errors!

·        First error was asking friends, this achieves nothing because they usually don’t wish to hurt your feelings and also they have no experience in critique.  Another point - do they themselves read?

·        Second error was ‘okay for what it is’.  What is it?  I know a friend who won’t read a comic because ‘it’s not my thing’.  Wrong, people don’t read comics because they don’t like the content of what they ‘assume’ they will read.  That same person reads the ‘Buffy’ comic because she is a fan of the show!  I am currently in discussions with a professional editor who doesn’t wish to edit the comic because ‘it is far out of the field of my expertise’, he is a crime writer/editor and he doesn’t read comics so he won’t read mine.

·        Third error is the simple word of ‘okay’.  A burnt out bomb of a car that still runs is ‘okay’ if you only wish to get from point A to point B.  You must aim high or you are only going to get stuck in the muck of ‘average Australian comic’.

·        Fourth error (and the biggest for me) was to ask my family.  My mum wanted to encourage me to ‘get out there and follow your dreams’, so she gave me a good review to give me confidence to start.  My brother and I have always thought alike so he always liked it (still does).

 So I published it.  And then came the rude awakening of bad reviews that blasted my comic, did I deserve them?  Looking back on the first five issues that were published in 1992 I do agree with them.  One review said ‘Porno movie scripts outshine the alleged dialogue of Captain Koala…’, OUCH!!

 So what am going to do about it?  Rent as many porno movies as I can to study their script writing (study those that are better  J).  Seriously though, I have opened up the comic for professional criticism and I will be listening with what they have to say.  I have also purchased several books on how to write properly.

Am I the only one in the industry who needs to look at their own comic and say that it sucks and could be improved?  Definitely not.  I now have one advantage over other comics though, because I have had some very harsh reviews I have had my ego smashed and can now accept constructive criticism without getting offended.

 If you have read the comic before then I ask you to re-read it when the graphic novel comes out, it will be a lot better I promise.


I’ve just got back from comic-fest 2001 and thought I would write a few lines about it.  Firstly though, who am I?  The name is James, I write and publish ‘Captain Koala’.  There’s the technical crap out of the way.

Quick disclaimer first though, the following comments are about Koala Comics but the same could be said about any number of publishers.  There are some publishers (I won’t name any) that firmly believe that the industry is healthy while I don’t. 

The convention was good and very fair (I will explain this later).  There was no major problems as far as I was concerned and the only minor drama I had was that the music was way too loud, but it was turned down within 30 seconds of me talking to the organisers, full marks for that.

Enough of the convention as a whole though, my article is on what I know best, the Australian publishers section.  When I said before that the convention was very fair I meant that all the stands got a good spot, there were no stands hidden around corners or in a dark spot out the back.  Everyone who went to the convention saw all the stands, whether they stopped at them or just walked straight past is not the point, the fact that they saw them is important. 

Overall though, the Australian comics did bad, very bad.  Koala comics pulled in enough money to pay for the table, that’s all.  It didn’t even pay for my food bill for the weekend, but the way I eat & drink I wouldn’t have expected that anyway.  I may have a few little arguments from other stall holders over these comments, but before we do I would like to see the stalls revenue for the weekend, then we’ll argue.

So why didn’t we sell well?  The first thing I noticed about the Australian comics is that out of the dozen or so publishers I was one of only three to be there from Ozcon!  It means that there is a lot of up and coming publishers and talent coming through.  But why aren’t we selling?  To answer this I think I may have to bite the bullet and say ‘WE SUCK’.  We don’t all suck as there is some good stuff out there.  I’m not going to publicly say what I thought was awful but I will publicly admit that I don’t like Captain Koala issues 1-5.  I was selling the whole set (1-8) for $10 at comic-fest but if someone only wanted one issue I advised them to buy the latest issue that was available, which was issue 8.  Why am I picking on my own comic? Because I intend to clean up my own back yard first.  Issues 1-5 were written in 1992, issue 6 in 1997, 7 in 1997, 8 in 1997, 9 in 1999 and 10 in 2001. (Issue 9 will be on the Internet by June 30, I promise).  So what do I intend to do about it?  When I have finished issue 10 I intend to put them all out in a graphic novel, with the first 5 issues heavily edited.  How many other comics admit that they are not up to standard?  (What is the standard?)

As a whole, the industry is making the same errors over and over, because of the youth of the publishers they don’t realise that every mistake they are making has been made many times before by other Australian publishers that are now defunct.  I have personally made nearly every mistake possible, when I first spoke to people at Ozcon in 1994 I realised that I had made the same mistakes that every one else had done.  As we talked more I found out about other mistakes they had done, over the next 7 years I have repeated nearly every mistake I was told about, somebody shoot me.  Now it has got to the stage where I am watching others doing the same mistakes.

A suggestion that has come up many times and by many people was the idea of having an anthology of Australian comics.  (Anthology is when you have lots of different stories in the one comic, ‘2000AD’ or ‘Dark Horse presents’ are perfect examples).  The best Australian example of this is ‘Southern Aurora Presents’ #1(1995?), the first issue had Bodine, De Vries, Lumsden and Paulos in it.  If you don’t know who they all are then you don’t know your history too well.  De Vries and Lumsden did a shit load of stuff for the US market and it was high quality stuff too.  Bodine and Paulos do ‘Hairbutt the Hippo’ for MAD magazine.  I still regard ‘SAP’ #1 as the best comic that was produced in the Australian market by an Australian publisher, yet it only just covered it’s printing costs!  If anyone wishes to do an anthology I do wish him or her well and would be prepared to help in anyway I could.  Maybe some day someone will finally break through.

Bottom line – will I be going back next year?  Yes.  I have many reasons for wanting to go back.  Maybe I didn’t do too well financially (money’s not everything) but I had a great weekend.


Ten years ago I worked as a house mover, not the type that moved furniture but the type that moved the actual house itself.  It was a labor-intensive job but I did it without complaint.  I was a big bloke then and I worked with some blokes who would have done the wharfies proud.  One day I was caught reading ‘Donald duck’ comics and that night at dinner I spent thirty long minutes trying to explain why I read them (I had about 50 Walt Disney comics with me, couldn’t quite say I found them somewhere).  After 30 minutes of trying to explain myself I come to the realization that my dinner was now cold while everyone else had finished and was looking straight at me.  I decided to mutter some awe-inspiring words – ‘ I read them because I enjoy them, I don’t have to explain it to you’.  With those words I then ate my dinner in peace.  I still believe Carl Barks is the best storyteller in the business.

So why don’t I read comics now?  Because I don’t enjoy them and would be embarrassed to admit that I did in fact read them.  So where did the industry go wrong?  I left when IMAGE started their ‘domination of the industry without taking any prisoners’.

Imagine a new person (I’ll call him ‘Newbie’) walking into a comic store and saying in an unbiased way ‘ I would like to start collecting comics, what are the current bestsellers?’.  Show that customer the current top ten sellers and he’ll walk out the shop the same way some people walk out of a sex shop.  From reading newsgroups (I still keep in contact with the industry, I just don’t read comics) I understand not many are impressed by X-Men at the moment and only buy it because of what Chris Claremont did years ago (yeeeears ago).  So if you gave the current batch to Newbie, would he be impressed?  How many do you know buy Batman because of the character and not the writer or artist?  Imagine giving this to Newbie and telling him it’s good because it’s Batman.  What if it sucks?

The overall standard of the industry has gone down, there is not enough people at the top end holding up the industry.  If you don’t know what I mean by this then consider this, everyone says TV sucks, yet they keep watching it, why?  Because there is enough good quality shows to keep people watching.  People go to the cinemas because there is enough good quality movies each year to keep the punters coming back.  For every ‘Star Wars’ there is about 10 ‘American Pie’ movies.  (I hated ‘American Pie’, it you enjoyed it then just put your most hated movie in its place).  My point is that there are not enough Frank Millers, Chris Claremonts, Carl Barks or Will Eisners to keep the industry ‘average’ propped up to a respectable level.

 What is the overall problem of the industry?  Two things.

Firstly, the industry is not advertising outside the industry (in Australia there is no advertising).  What everyone is trying to do is pinch readers from another comic book instead of trying to bring new readers to the fold.  This only leads to an overall decrease in readers in the long term.

Secondly, and Jim Shooter* admitted this, the average reader only ‘averages’ two years in the industry.  Therefore, according to Jim, you could REHASH THE SAME STORIES EVERY TWO YEARS!!  Why hire another writer?  What came first, the attitude to redo stories every two years (therefore driving people away from comics), or the realization that readers change every two years?  It’s like asking if it was the chicken or the egg that came first.  Why don’t we try and break this cycle?

*  I heard Jim Shooter talk at the Chicago comic Convention in 1995 or 96 (I can’t remember which year), he was giving a writing workshop.  He had just started a new comic company with a castle as its logo; I can’t remember what it was called.


Copyright James Clifton 2007-2010